4 Tips That Have Helped Me Go 500 Days Without Porn
I hit 500 days porn-free a few days ago.
I remember in high-school believing that recovery wasn’t possible and that folks who claimed to have gone extensive periods without porn were phonies.
Until I did it.
Most tips for becoming porn-free never worked for me because they always came from old guys who didn’t grow up with the same type of porn that’s available to us today.
I couldn’t connect with them.
But as someone who used to be in the trenches of addiction in the new age, I’m here to tell you that freedom from porn is possible and is worth pursuing wholeheartedly.
Here are 4 tips that have helped me go 500+ days without porn:
- Control Your Environment
- Journal Daily
- Have Regular Accountability
- Know the Path
Control Your Environment
“Control your environment, otherwise it will control you.” — Mike Ferry
People tend to say that they think I am a very disciplined person.
I don’t think I’m as disciplined as those people think.
I just create environments that set me up for success on a daily basis.
Our environment drives our behaviors.
When it comes to eating healthy, I don’t keep my fridge full of desserts & then muster up the will power to resist it every time — I just don’t keep desserts in my fridge and fill it up with healthy foods instead.
When it comes to being porn-free, I make sure to get rid of the things in my environment that trigger my desire to watch porn.
Here are a few ways I control my environment:
- I leave all of my electronics outside of my room every night & have a phone bedtime
- I get rid of social media & entertainment apps on my phone
- I have a restriction set up by a friend, so I’m unable to download apps
- I install software on my laptop that prevents me from accessing websites
- I plan out my day the night before, so I can be proactive and strategically work around potentially tempting moments
Control your environment and set yourself up for success.
Journal Daily
“Journal writing, when it becomes a ritual for transformation, is not only life-changing but life-expanding.” Jen Williamson
Our environment drives our behaviors, but so do our feelings. We need to make sure that we take the time to journal every day so that we understand why we do what we repeatedly do. When we understand that, we have awareness.
Awareness is the key to meaningful change.
I used to think of journaling as a thing girls did. But then I concluded that I’d rather do girly things than be stuck in the cycle of porn addiction.
Invest in a journal and process your feelings every day.
Here are some things I write about in my journal:
- Things I’m grateful for
- Things I could have done better
- Things that stressed me out
- Things I could do to help me overcome that stress in a healthy way
Have Regular Accountability
“Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to the result.” — Bob Proctor
Having accountability keeps me committed to my goals. On days where I want to give in, my accountability partners keep me going by reminding me of why I wanted to pursue my goals in the first place.
- Under certain conditions, I’m okay with letting myself down (sleeping in, procrastinating, etc.)
- Under most conditions, I’m never okay with letting others down.
The more accountability that I have in my life, the more committed I am to my goals. I make sure that the folks who hold me accountable are folks that I trust and objectively enjoy spending time with.
You need to be honest, vulnerable, and consistent for the power of accountability to work.
Our natural human tendency is to want to hide the things we’re ashamed of and overcome it on our own.
It doesn’t work. We need others to help us.
Subdue your ego and find accountability.
Know the Path
“But the path to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” — Matthew 7:14
We all have different paths, and we all know when we’re on it.
- When we’re on the path, we’re grateful for every second of life.
- When we’re on the path, we naturally do what’s right in every situation.
- When we’re on the path, we are diligent and have a positive attitude.
The path leads us to true fulfillment in life.
But many of us don’t clearly know what we need to do daily to get us on the path.
If you do, chances are you don’t check in with yourself every night to see if you successfully adhered to the demands that are required to stay on the path.
I don’t know what you need to do to stay on the path, but I do know what I need to do in order to stay on the path.
Here are a few things that I need to do every day to stay on the path:
- I need at least one hour of silence & solitude
- I need some form of physical exercise, whether that be yoga, running, etc.
- I need to eat right
- I need to talk to at least one friend or family member
There are plenty more things that I need to do every day to stay on the path, but I don’t want to let what I do influence what you do.
Because you already have an idea of what you need to do to stay on the path.
You just need to write it down and make it clear to yourself. The path requires different things from each of us.
On a piece of paper, write out what you need to do daily to stay on the straight & narrow path.
Once you have that written out, grade yourself every night on how well you performed each of those activities in a journal.
Write out what you could have done better and the excuses you may have succumbed to that prevented you from doing those activities.
The path is difficult to find and even more difficult to stay on.
But give yourself grace where grace is due and ask God for His strength in your moments of weakness.
Through His grace and His boundless love, we can do all things and defeat addictions of any kind.
My Top Resources for Becoming Porn-Free
- Freedom, an app that blocks websites & distractions on your laptop
- Porn-Free Radio, a podcast that gives practical and wise instruction
- Jocko Podcast, a podcast on leadership and discipline
- Transformation Church, a church led by a pastor who struggled with porn
- Headspace, an app for meditation
